Today is Mazes birthday. I believe he should be 26 now. I the past I would have been writing to him something like "Happy birthday! I'll be home for christmas vacation!" through an email. The host of his old email account shut down. His old phone number has been transferred to a new customer. There is nothing left.
Maze at 26. I wish I could have met the man he grew into. I can't even imagine it.
Today is TdoR, and I am remembering Maze.
I got home from work an hour ago. I am holding his old seal doll named Snowball. I am thumbing through old photos in a photo album. I am looking at his old cell phone, wishing I could still call it, and regretting that I didn't call more.
As of the third of November, 2025. It will have been 9 years without Maze.
It really doesn't seem real. It doesn't seem like that long ago that I was sitting in the hospital with his dead body. Waiting for the hour when doctors would take his body away to have his organs harvested for other people to use. None of the people who got his organs ever contacted our family. I have not received any photos from any friends of his. None of the ones I was waiting on have replied to my messages. So I don't have any new photos of Maze or anything. There's nothing new to report.
Maze would be 25 now, and later this December we should be celebrating his 26th birthday on the 9th. I can't imagine him being 25 or 26. What kind of jobs would Maze have worked by now? Would he have found an apartment somewhere in Winslow or Waterville? Would he have his own car? Would we be going out to have fun after work together? Would we both be able to help our mom with stuff at her house? What games would we play together? Would he even like any of the same games as me? Could I take him hiking on mountains? Could we go canoeing on Mill Stream?
It just doesn't seem real that he even could be that old. He's just always 16 in my head. But he should be that old. He should have gotten the chance to be 25.
Right now, I should be worrying about how it's November now, which means I have to think of getting him two gifts. One for his upcoming birthday and one more for Chirstmas. Instead I've just been wishing that on La Toussant I had the gas money to drive up and take care of his grave.
